first snow; ever so daringly ordinary

"first snow" from balcony 

22nd December was the first snow in my life, in my neighbourhood! Oh well technically not in my life. My first snow was kinda lowkey, it was when i first arrived on March if you look up the news there was a time this year when the snow suddenly appear during the sakura season. That was my first snow, but i was in class that time, i only saw it through the window sad. 

But this one,  i was in my room @ 2AM just finished watching Goblin for the 3rd time in my life and was wildly singing to Ailee's I'll come to you like the first snow ever so out of tune feat my cracking voice but i can assure you the emotion is there (this is really legit) when I hear a knock on my sliding door facing the view of the town.

"Yuki !! (means snow in japanese)" ーmy housemate.

Then i step out, snow was falling mad lightly. Rain hits hard, snow falls lightly. Harder then flower petals but lighter than raindrops. And mate it was sejukkk

nak mammpus

And i took my phone, any camera i have to capture the moment, i know you supposed to enjoy the moment but snow rarely fall in Tokyo and even if it did, it did not pile up. Fun fact, not all place gets piled up with snow and turns white in the after math. There are lowkey snow and highkey snow, lowkey snow is wet because it turns watery by the time it hits, highkey snow is the one that piles up and you can lay down and make a butterfly and beat the shit out of your friends with the snow balls. I used internet language but you know what i mean. I know this fact when my dad dissed my decision to go to Tokyo because he said Tokyo don't snow as much as Hokkaido do, then he kept going on and on about his beloved Hokkaido. (He been to Hokkaido some years ago)

Anyway, lowkey or highkey snow, i came from the equator country with a tropical climate i am thankful of any snow given. I'd take em all. I will end every discrimination against less fun snow and more fun snow. We are all equal and special. So housemate and I, come down from our flat, and by the road side to get full experience of it.

My hands were frozen than Elsa's whole existence. Frozen hands, hurt. But despite the struggles, we managed to take some pics and videos. I brought my camera along, it was covered in snow, I don't know if dslr is water-resistant but I need to capture this moment

Winter holiday starts today. And lasts for about a week and a half? I don't have any plans set for it anyway. I ought to see Van Gogh's exhibition on my birthday but i was so depressed that day I could not managed to lmao. I was very very sad lol. I even took a day of work to kinda go somewhere and celebrate for my birthday but I kept crying since morning and couldn't do anything about it. There are good days and bad days huh.

Should I go tho, I'll update if I did. Currently reading about impressionist artists, arts and etc. There is this thicc book from Taschen I'm reading. Haven't finished it yet tho. But so far I really enjoy it.

Anyway currently busy with assignments and stuff. Will update soon can't wait for semester holiday. See ya!

japan.

"Firework festival ". Edogawa, Pixel 3 

Currently, Tokyo @Autumn 2019, sitting down on this ass cold floor seeping an iced coffee that i bought from 7-eleven. This seemed so late because i never thought of this blog because there is obviously a lott going on this year. I don't know compressing the whole story in a blog post is possible but here we go right at it.

Before thatー A lot of sad, sad, sad because she felt a lot lot stupid. Hence, the depressed talks.
March 9ー Home girl graduated !
2 weeks after thatーFly to the land of rising sun. Right at it. Graduated and off she go.
Currentー university student working part time in a trick art museum since summer, basic japanese and forgets kanji, goes to class but does not understand class.

"random street". 7-ELEVEN, Kodak (i literally don't keep track)

I never to put a close bracket regarding my struggles in college. Though before graduating i promised my self to put up an emotional post on instagram, with a long caption on the usual : you did it finally it all worth it. I thought after graduating college i will feel like a burden has been lift off my chest. Relieved. But i would say, it was not like that. On our last week of college, even after the last final exam, we still gotta have to study/took another two subject about geography & economy. One subject per week. And we only have two weeks before graduation. And those two subjects had a test.

So, if i remember it correctly, we finish all the syllabus for those two subject and took the test after two weeks. All batch members cramped up in a room. It was fast, hassle, ending of something but still be doing something. Like driving a car and almost reaching the destination after all this years but still be accelerating, even at that point. I understand and accepted it back then i mean what can i do, it is just how things work. But i wish, i had a proper closure, take look at my batch mates one last time, though i were possibly out of the radar and did not really talk to anyone. But then, took the two tests, graduated, that doesn't even feel like a graduation, two weeks home, with the same buddy that cramp together in a room studying geography & economics, all we go cramped up in an airplane, and here we are.

"twilight from veranda". Home, Kodak #

And it has been a year, and all that was 2019. Most people be saying this year(any year) flies by so fast, uhm not 2019 baby. 2019 felt looooooooonggg to me.

印象に残ったもの
{things that left impression}
I still remember the day we arrived, it was spring, after arriving and getting out of the airport to board a bus, it does not occur to me yet that i am in a different country because i was inside the building(airport) still, until i got out . .

first: it smell different, almost close to no smell at all

second: it is cold, it feels like inside an air-conditioner but the thing is with air-conditioner  you are inside a room, enclosed, stuffy,confined small room so the air isn't really e very whe r e? so i would say it is different from an air-con inside a room. And in a room there are no trees or nature or sky. This one feels like an air-conditioner is cooling down the whole country, lmao. So the birds, the trees the land feels it too.

third: it feels pinker? blue-er? like pastel pink&blue

four: during the bus ride, i remember me and a friend having a conversation on how the streets are pretty similar to malaysia lol. (idk what we expect at that point) but it kinda feel similar to the streets in KL, well based on our observation during the bus ride lmao.

"By the mountains". Near Fuji-san. Kodak#

All in all, even on this 2019 that feels long, i hope it will never end. 
Life now feels much more relax than before, healthier if i must say, more time to paint, more time to fall in love with things that i am already in love with. But you know, time, having to much of it could really kill you in a different way. That is probably how ungrateful i am as a human being.

Sad part of it, i don't really remember much of before. It just past. Like that.

I guess this marks my closure, took a long time huh.

Now that i am here back writing, i'd say this few days has been fantastic, i don't know how that relates but after a long time not writing, i guess back writing kind of keeping me going. I want to keep record of everything possible while i am given the chance to. I love traditionally writing in my diary but i kind of want to insert picture with it, polaroids still too expensive and kinda irrational, lol. Yeah so here we go. Lets pray that i could use every second that i have feeling, seeing, visiting things in the future.

Ciao!