art tings.

太宰ちゃん、「文豪ストレイドッグス」

It has been about two months without sunlight. Even so i have been drawing almost everyday. Things has been going per usual. But knowing that im the type to plan everything in mind before doing it and i'd spend every hour overthinking how to perfect a painting/drawing and ends up not doing it. But in the middle of that i realized that i am actually quite disappointed with myself you know, having the time but not getting much out of it. -Later i heard this word of motivation, from an anime i watch. 

「別にカンペキではなくていい、やればいいんだ」”it doesn't matter if it is not perfect, as long as you do it”

Nevertheless, sounds like it holds no power. 当たり前だよ but somehow it just hit me and you know i start drawing while having that in my mind. Art wise- i do like painting but i really hate drawing. Especially 2D character, my work always leans towards human, semi realism portraits etc. Although i just draw everything but it is mostly that. But since i was watching anime i did some practice and honestly i got better. It has been a long time since i drew anime. 

You know  now im glad im out of white gouache. Oh whats the rant behind white gouache? 

Technically white gouache is widely used, in watercolor/gouache paintings. But especially gouache paintings tho, I can't say for everybody else but i would need it to lighten up the color. In watercolors you basically need it for highlight, in most cases. And only brought my travel set gouache with me, failed to purchase any here;

So i ended up just practice drawing. Succeeded buying some drawing markers and been filling up my sketchbook with it. It went well, not thinking how would the art turn out in my head but straight up drawing it on the paper. So far so good. Still far from being able to draw without reference but proportions? inking, getting better. Feels like a glow up. How so?

１－I used to feel proud after finishing an art, thinking it was good enough-. But now, everything i finish it always feels like it is lacking something, in other words room for improvement. I saw something better in my mind, but im just not there yet. -i saw something better, thats why i think im improving. No longer settling down, wished for more.  

2 －I used my brain this time. eh? Yep before I don't really think, simply i never erase anything just go with it. Like for examples, mixing colors. Not the same color? The hell with it.  But now strokes after strokes requires me to think. 

Is this how not being depressed feels like? 

Since quarantine everybody else been blogging out of the boredom, i guess. Personally it is good seeing everybody back in, but how i wish they post about something personal? Like hobbies, feelings, growth? themselves. Instead of facts related? Like something you would write in an essay. Am i indirectly roasting? No hate just personal writings carries more emotion, and human things are never boring. peace//